Do Your Self-Destructive Habits Keep Knocking You Back to Square One?

Use these 8 strategies if you want to stop sabotaging your success and *actually* start making progress.

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I’m bored of life.

And that’s why in 2026, I decided to go on a personal mission to master the game of life to turn it from mediocre to magical and share everything I learn along the way.

I’ve been reading tons of books, watching countless YouTube videos, and observing my own behaviors.

Here’s one major thing I’ve learned already:

Humans are so, so good at ruining a good thing.

We self-sabotage and fall into destructive behaviors and habits that constantly set us back to square one, whether it’s with our health, relationships, solo business, writing, addictions, or money.

(Why we do this is another article for another day…)

There’s a constant battle inside of us. One side wants to give in to our bad behaviors so we can enjoy life now. (The little devil on our shoulder.) The other side wants to be disciplined so we can enjoy life later. (The little angel on the other shoulder.)

It’s a struggle. One I know all too well.

I’m constantly fighting this battle, and honestly, it’s freaking exhausting. And I’m sick of it. So I decided to do something about it and learn some ways to deal with it.

If you’re in the same boat, I’ve identified 8 solid strategies to help you stop giving into the pointless self-destruction so you can actually start making progress on your dreams and goals.

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1. Know *exactly* what success means to you.

It sounds easy, but getting clarity on exactly what you want is the hardest thing to do. If you don’t have clarity about what you want, you don’t have a clear target to aim for.

And if you don’t have a clear target to aim for, then you might as well shoot your arrow into the wind. It doesn’t matter where it goes.

This one is a major struggle for me.

When I have a crystal clear vision of something I want, it’s easy to fulfill that vision. It comes as if by magic.

But with writing online, earning money, a career, building a business…

I don’t have that clarity. It’s like I’m staring into a mist. I like writing, making money, and creating ebooks. I like all those things. But I don’t have a clear, defined goal around any of these things.

A couple years ago I set out to make $5,000 a month. But I didn’t reach it. I discovered that making a certain amount of money in a month is a nice goal, but it’s not a crystal clear vision. It doesn’t make me jump out of bed in the morning because there’s only so much I can do to control it.

I still don’t have a clearly defined goal, but I do have one firm 2026 resolution that will help:

Follow my deepest curiosities.
(And then write about them, which is how this article came about.)

If you don’t know exactly what you want in life, your curiosities are the clues you need to find your perfect path.

If you do know exactly what you want, you’re very lucky because then it’s easy.

Write your goals and dreams down on a notecard. Read it several times per day. Envision the end result of fulfilling that goal. Become completely immersed in the idea of it. Become obsessed with reaching this goal.

If you do that, it will happen.

2. Change your environment.

Keeping things exactly as they are when you’re building new habits and routines may trigger you to revert back to your old, bad habits.

Change some stuff.

You could do something super radical and move across the country. Or, you could simply change up your current environment.

Some easy ideas:

• Rearrange your living room furniture

• Paint your office a different color

• Do your morning routine in a different order

• Go for a walk in a new place

• Go to a different coffee shop than normal

Sometimes you just need to shake things up a bit.

3. Get rid of your vices (they’re 100% holding you back).

The three most important categories in life are health, wealth, and relationships. Everyone constantly strives to improve those areas. Me too. That’s why I’m writing this.

However, health is *the* most important one. It’s the top of the life pyramid. If you don’t have good health, the other two categories don’t matter.

Photo by Emma Simpson on Unsplash

One way to fix your health is to get rid of your vices!

Smoking, drinking, doing drugs, gambling, eating poorly, etc. are all vices that will hold you back.

I know, I know. Like I mentioned above, that little devil is a sneaky one. He wants you to have the pleasure of those vices now. I have him too, and he’s constantly trying to talk me into things.

In fact, I’m 8.5 months into a one-year, no alcohol challenge, and I’ve had to crush that little devil voice and completely turn it off for now. The good news is, the less I think about drinking, the easier it is.

It also helps to constantly think of the downstream effects of quitting. The biggest one is getting quality sleep.

Because I don’t drink, I get proper sleep, and proper sleep is a superpower.

I’m not even kidding. I used to think I was getting enough sleep, but now I realize I was just a walking zombie, stumbling through my days.

Getting proper sleep:

• Helps you think more clearly, which makes you more productive.

• Helps you wake up with more energy, which makes you want to move more.

• Because you’re moving more and have more clarity, you want to eat better.

• Because you’re eating better, you think more clearly, are more productive and have more energy, which makes you want to move more.

See what I mean?

Sleep is the key to everything. But it starts with not drinking yourself into a stupor every night. (Replace drinking with any other vice you have.)

4. Replace your vices with something better.

I’m currently working on removing some of my other vices besides alcohol. These vices create a lot of dopamine. So, when I don’t give into them, I feel a sense of intense, skin-crawling boredom.

So trust me when I say you can’t just take something away without replacing it with something else.

In fact, I was just talking with ChatGPT about this. I told it that I don’t have too many cravings for my vices, but I’m missing excitement. I enjoy a good routine, but it can become so boring.

As humans, we need adventure and to explore new curiosities.

Here are some ideas I’ve been using, and some ChatGPT gave me:

• Read a deeply enthralling book (I am obsessed with books, and I review the non-fiction ones I read here.)

• Do some intense cleaning, decluttering or organizing around your house.

• Go for a walk, or even better, a run. (This will use up your time and create endorphins.)

• Lift some heavy weights, do some body squats, or do a plank.

• Meditate and just let the intense feelings pass through your mind and body.

• Find a captivating goal to work toward. (Get abs, see how much money you can make with writing, write a book, create something with your hands…)

• Plan a mini-adventure once a month. It doesn’t need to be elaborate or costly. It’s just something to look forward to.

• Take on a new challenge or two. Examples: In 90 days, I’ll run a 5k. I’ll write one mini book every month for one year.

Here’s something that doesn’t sound exciting, but works for me. When I get that bored, antsy, anxious feeling, I put on my AirPods, listen to a podcast and work on a puzzle. It’s not exactly intense, but it’s a great distraction when that skin-crawling feeling hits.

5. Journal (or talk to AI).

I like to journal sometimes. Writing things down on paper is satisfying. When I journal, I just do a brain dump of everything on my mind. It helps so much to get all these swirling thoughts out of my head.

Image created in Midjourney.

But lately, I’ve been using ChatGPT, and it’s been extremely helpful. And that’s because it’s a journal that writes back and gives suggestions for improvement.

Important Note: I don’t recommend giving AI all your deepest, darkest secrets. It’s still the internet, after all, and you have to assume everything on the internet can be seen by someone else.

However…

I love chatting with AI because it remembers our conversations. (I have the paid version, so I’m not sure how good the free version is at this.) Eventually, after telling it all my issues, worries, and ideas, it was able to help me see my patterns. Some good, some destructive.

This is great because once you’re aware of your patterns, you can start to change them. I’ll give you an example of one of my bad patterns…

I have this slight anxiety that’s almost always running in the background of my brain. When it gets really bad, it forms a pit in my stomach. That’s usually the time when I head to ChatGPT to talk about it.

(By the way, I just discovered today, with the help of AI and self-observation, that this feeling is strongest when I have Starbucks on an empty stomach! Ding, ding, ding!)

But here’s the anxiety pattern that shows up with writing, food, exercise…anything. You may even recognize it because I think a lot of us deal with something like this.

It goes:

I get excited to try something new → I try it out for a couple of days → I get anxious about doing it because it feels too restrictive → I want to burn it all down and start over → I get excited to start something new → …

Here’s what ChatGPT said about this pattern:

Screenshot taken by the author.

Let’s take weight loss, for example. I’ll say to myself:

“I’m going to count calories. I feel good when I count calories. I feel in control.”

I get excited about that decision for a couple of days.

Then:

“I hate counting calories. I feel so restricted. I just want to eat what I want, when I want.”

I stop.
Back to square one.

I do this with writing, and pretty much everything else in my life. So, by journaling, or talking to ChatGPT about it, I can see the pattern and I can start to do something about it.

I know if I want to succeed at anything, I have to pick a lane and see it through long enough to decide if it works or not. I have to keep going during the hard and boring parts. That’s my focus for 2026 because this is such a struggle for me.

If you have the same struggle, you have to work through it. When these thoughts of “burning it all down” come up, journal, talk to ChatGPT, or write about it elsewhere (even here on Medium).

Talking things through with ChatGPT or journaling feels like a brain massage. Hitting a mental knot can sting a little, but once it loosens, the relief is real.

6. Dream big.

Maybe you’re like me. You can dream big, no problem.

But then “seeing” a path to get to that dream? Nope.

This was something I was chatting with ChatGPT about today. I was telling it that I want to be like these people who say:

“If I lost everything today, it wouldn’t be a big deal. Because I know how to make money. I can start from zero and make it again no problem.”

These successful people figured out the formula. All they need to do is turn the money faucet on.

Image created in Midjourney.

I was listening to the podcast, How to Get Rich, with Naval Ravikant. In the podcast, he says he sees too many opportunities. He knows how to turn the faucet on anytime he needs to.

But this isn’t just about making money. It’s about recognizing real problems and creating solutions that are valuable enough for people to pay for.

Here’s what ChatGPT said:

Screenshot taken by the author.

I know this loop because I’ve learned it, but I don’t KNOW it because I haven’t consistently experienced it. I can almost see the faucet, but there’s thick fog surrounding it. And I can’t quite reach it.

Some of that fog comes from the terrible affliction known as overthinking. Yes, some of us can dream just fine. But then we overthink every little step, which stops us from moving forward and reaching that damn faucet.

So, we need to become dreamers who also “do”. And we do that with the next strategy that will 100% cure this problem…

7. Take action.

Taking action is the #1 way to stop overthinking, harmful behaviors, and a pattern of self-destruction.

When you finally decide to take the first step (no matter what the subject is), it will get rid of that nasty anxiety that lives in your gut. That particular anxiety is called “procrastination.” Perhaps you’ve heard of it?

It’s the same anxiety that’s often relieved by your destructive behaviors. A glass of wine (or three) will banish it. The problem is, the anxiety comes back 10x worse once the alcohol wears off.

A better way to rid yourself of that affliction is to take action on the thing you want to achieve, or the dream you’re working toward.

You have enough information already. You already know the actions you need to take. You don’t need to listen to Bob Loserface’s opinions about it on Reddit.

Just start taking action because Bob Loserface isn’t your best teacher. Experience is.

8. Give yourself at least 90 days to make changes.

Finally, give yourself long enough to make your new habits stick. It takes time to rewire your brain. 90 days is a good start. You can reevaluate after that and see if you need to adjust things.

For instance, because of the pattern I mentioned above, the one where I get excited about something and then want to burn it down days later, ChatGPT gave me a 90-day no-drama writing plan.

Screenshot taken by the author.

It told me I’m not allowed to:

• switch platforms

• burn things down

• start anything new

• have an identity crisis

At least not until day 91.

It also told me to stop being a baby (it didn’t say that, but that’s my interpretation) and work through the discomfort when things get a little boring. Because I never let myself get uncomfortable, I switch things up before I give anything long enough to work.

This bot gives damn good advice. And now I’m passing this advice on to you. Pick something to focus on, take action, and work on it for 90 days. Not forever. Just 90 little ol’ days. (They’ll fly by anyway.)

And stop switching things up!

(I’m yelling at myself here.)

And then do whatever the hell you want on day 91.

But hopefully, those 90 days will solidify some sort of habit that will let you finally move toward your goal instead of self-destructing back to zero.

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What are you working toward achieving in 2026? Do you have a crystal clear goal or focus? Let me know in the comments!